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About your new ADHD Coach
BEEN THERE,
DONE THAT,
LOST THE T-SHIRT
Hey there! I’m James
You probably want to know “Who is this bloke and what makes him think he can help me?” - Great questions!
This is my story and here’s why I could be able to help you.
Hey there! I’m James
You probably want to know “Who is this bloke and what makes him think he can help me?” - Great questions!
This is my story and here’s why I could be able to help you.
My mission is to support people who think differently in being true to themselves and living happy lives.
Get started with coaching - it's free!
Feel what it's like to take control of your ADHD with a free guide for signing up.
Why did I become an ADHD Coach?
Early Years
I was diagnosed with ADHD in my mid-thirties. Up until that point, I had always wondered why I felt different, why I felt like I didn't belong. Growing up, I was always the kid with "potential" - if only I could apply myself. I'd get into trouble for things I didn't expect, rush important work, and miss crucial details.
A scar I still bear from my school days is the effect an exasperated teacher’s comments on an exam answer had on me. I wrote what I thought was a great answer for the question “Describe the distribution of religions in Asia”. I was destroyed when I got my paper back and read the words “THIS IS RUBBISH” scribbled over my answer.
Turns out I had mis-read the question. Where I had read “religion”, the question had actually asked me to describe a “REGION”. I should have been able to work it out from context because this was a Geography exam, not an RE exam.
Fortunately this didn’t cost me anything academically, as it was only a mock exam. What it did cost me was deeply emotional and this, my friends, is only the very tippy top of the tip of the top of the iceberg that turned out to be a constant sense of shame and unworthiness.
Socially, I was always a butterfly, flitting from group to group, somehow always managing to find something that I could relate to my peers about. Looking back, I realise that this flitting wasn’t really butterfly behaviour, but more chameleon-like and my ability to relate was really little more than an ability to camouflage. Those masks kept me from truly being myself - settling to “fit in” rather than belong.
Adulting
As a serial monogamist and sequential entrepreneur, I would push forward with girlfriend after girlfriend and business after business, swapping out characters and quests when the current one just wasn’t hitting the spot anymore.
Ignoring the building feelings of guilt for the partners I’d hurt and shame over the businesses I’d failed to grow, I crashed on in total denial that something was amiss. My denial was further fuelled by my curiosity about psychedelic experiences and the spiritual enlightenment cannabis could potentially offer.
Much of my adulting was conducted in a haze, with the ever present soundbite “just get it together” repeating around my head with the annoyance and threat of a hornet at a barbecue.
Finally sober I faced a marriage in tatters and a video production business going down the toilet. It was only when I was staring at the inevitable implosion of my life I was able to truly ask myself: "Why can't I get ANYTHING to stick?" (In all fairness - I was with my ex-wife for 12 years in total - but there's a whole story about attachment styles and the vulnerabilities of people with ADHD in difficult relationships to go into, which neither you nor I have the energy to do right now).
Diagnosis
When I got my diagnosis, I was suddenly relieved. Relieved and happy (weird, right?). It all made so much sense - why I did the things I did, why I behaved the way I behaved. As all of this new information about ADHD was filling my brain, I was becoming more and more whole.
Memories flooded back: losing a guitar, running into a pond thinking it was tarmac, mailing marketing materials with incorrect postage. I even remembered the time I showed up a day late for a crucial business meeting, convinced it was scheduled for Tuesday when it was actually on Monday. The client's disappointed face and my overwhelming shame suddenly made sense in light of my diagnosis.
"Of course I have ADHD! I've been doing this shit for years!! Since I was a kid!" I felt like I understood myself and I suddenly had a community in which I belonged. Unmasked, unbound, unafraid.
Then... I got angry. Really fucking angry.
I was furious at an education system that couldn't recognise a kid with ADHD.
Angry at health professionals who didn't detect anything, despite all the appointments, bumps, breaks, scrapes and mental health peaks and troughs.
Angry that all that time I'd been doing acid and MDMA, I could have been doing speed and getting the fuck on with my life! (This is not meant to be life advice, but I bet some of you can relate to this).
Most of all, I was angry at all of the supposed "support systems" designed to help people like me - and how they’re mostly all ableist AF. I have stared at a 46,573-page application form for ADHD support (OK, that’s hyperbole, but it might as well have been that long).
The irony was painful - I literally couldn't focus long enough to complete the very form designed to help people like me. I gave up, feeling defeated and unseen.
“There must be a better way! There must be better help out there?!” I said to myself.
Purpose
“So….why did you become an ADHD coach?”, I hear you ask. Well, a) thanks for sticking around - I know this amount of text is a challenge for some of you and b) I’ll tell you now.
Among all this madness, my sanctuary, my dojo, my nourishment and my recovery was therapy. This was the place where I felt seen and heard. (I had a great therapist). This was the place where I could finally begin healing deep wounds I never realised I had.
This was the place where I discovered my purpose and when I discovered it, nothing on Earth felt more natural to me. My epiphany was backed up by my experience throughout my entrepreneurial journey.
My greatest strengths in business were my soft-skills. The human touch.
While I was running a recording studio I’d get the best out of the artists I worked with by soothing their fears and creating a safe-space for them to try new things.
While running a branding and design agency I would coach my clients on how to empathise and understand their customers needs.
While producing videos I was able to make banger after banger because I’d have productive and lengthy conversations with my clients, my actors and my crew so that we all knew exactly what the goal was and how we could achieve it.
It’s funny - for someone who never felt like they truly belonged, “connecting” is now the most natural thing in the world to me. I want you to feel connected in your journey.
So WHY did I become an ADHD Coach?
“I'm here to guide people like me who are struggling to find the help that they need.”
James Delin - 2024
THAT's why I became and ADHD Coach
Future
Helping you will always remain at the core of what I do. I will bring you the best information and tools I can through one-to-one sessions, workshops, video courses, expanded programmes and a rich ever-growing library of free content.
One of my ambitions is to help at least 1 million people around the world who struggle with ADHD by connecting people in a dedicated community, sharing my experience and providing a safe-space for all of you to ADHD the shit out of your day.
Ultimately - I want to bring about systemic change to education systems, health services and our global community. How…? I’m not quite sure, but I’ll work it out.
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