Introduction
Every day more and more adults are realising that they have ADHD, and have started their journey of self-discovery.
Once they realise that they have probably been struggling with the symptoms of ADHD since they were a kid, the rough and tumble journey of self-discovery begins.
If you’re here, chances are you’ve probably caught on to the idea that you’re a good candidate to join the ranks of the international ADHD Club.
This guide is your roadmap through the winding paths of ADHD in adulthood, especially tailored for those who’ve recently navigated the stormy seas of separation or divorce and are striving to balance being Superdad with their professional and personal growth. (Like I am).
Key Takeaways
- Understanding ADHD in Adulthood: ADHD in adults often presents as a mix of hyperactive and inattentive symptoms, leading to challenges with memory, focus, emotional regulation, and impulse control.
- Signs and Symptoms: Adults with ADHD may experience forgetfulness, impulsive behaviour, difficulty focusing, and intense emotional responses. These symptoms can vary in intensity and often persist from childhood.
- Diagnosis Pathway: Getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult can be a liberating but complex journey. It typically begins with consulting a GP, followed by referral to specialists for evaluation.
- Coping Mechanisms: Strategies such as embracing structure, breaking tasks into smaller steps, and using tools like timers can help manage ADHD symptoms in daily life.
- Treatment Options: ADHD treatment is highly individualised, often involving a combination of medication, therapy, lifestyle adjustments, and mindfulness practices to help manage symptoms.
- Parenting with ADHD: Juggling parenting with ADHD, especially after major life changes like separation or divorce, can be challenging. Establishing routines, open communication, and self-compassion are key strategies for success.
- Self-Care and Wellness: Prioritising sleep, healthy eating, regular exercise, and mindfulness practices are essential for managing ADHD and maintaining overall well-being.
- Resources in the UK: There are various resources available for ADHD support in the UK, including NHS services, charities like ADHD UK, and adult ADHD support groups that provide guidance and community.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neuro-developmental disorder that can affect a person’s ability to focus, their energy levels, their ability to regulate their emotions and their impulse control, among a host of other things.
Here’s your first reward - a dopamine hit:
You are a phenomenal human being for even getting this far, and I highly appreciate your time and energy in getting to know how ADHD might be affecting you.
Thank you for being here.
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Discovering ADHD in Adulthood: The Signs and Symptoms
Recognising ADHD in adulthood is a bit like piecing together a puzzle while missing half the pieces – it requires patience and a keen eye for detail. Here are some hallmark signs:
Memory Misadventures
Ever walked into a room and felt like you’ve entered Narnia because you can’t remember why you’re there? That’s your ADHD playing hide and seek.
The Impulse Buy Bonanza
If your online shopping habits reveal a pattern of "I saw, I conquered... I completely forgot why I needed 12 pairs of novelty socks," welcome to impulse buying, ADHD edition.
Focus, What Focus?
Concentrating on a single task can feel like trying to read War and Peace at a rave – challenging, to say the least.
Emotional Rollercoasters
Emotional responses can be intense, like riding the emotional equivalent of the Nemesis without a seatbelt.
The Time Warp:
Understanding time is like trying to grasp water – it just slips through. Deadlines feel either light-years away or like they’re breathing down your neck.
Spotting these signs is the first step towards turning the page and starting a new chapter where ADHD is a part of your story, not the entirety of it.
Remember, recognising you might need a bit of extra help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s the most human thing of all.
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Understanding ADHD in Adulthood
Even if the signs and symptoms of ADHD have obvious effects on us day to day, it can be even more helpful to understand how this affects us more generally.
Disconnect Brain
Dr Hallowell of The Hallowell ADHD Centres explains that having ADHD is like having a brain with a Ferrari engine…but the with steering and the brakes of a pushbike.
For those who are more I.T. minded, I like to think of an ADHD brain having a 128-core, 3.7 Ghz CPU paired with, like, 1GB of RAM.
Whichever way you look at it, people with ADHD have an ability to process huge amounts of stuff, all the time, but struggle with being able to consistently filter or recall that stuff in useful ways.
This disconnect brings about challenges that are both relatable to those without ADHD and unique to those with the disorder.
If you’ve ever tried to explain to someone who doesn’t have ADHD that you instantly forget why you went into a room all the time, the other person might say “Oh yeah, I do that all the time too.”
It can feel super invalidating, even though the other person is most likely trying to relate to you.
Their “all the time” is a figure of speech and often they don’t realise that your “all the time” is far more literal. It’s the difference between doing it a couple of times a day - which is quite normal - and doing it 30 - 40 times a day - which is closer to the ADHD experience.
Challenges that are more unique to ADHD tend to feature in the emotional realm. Things like low self-esteem, depression and anxiety can all be underpinned by ADHD’s insidious ability to sabotage and derail our work, our family plans and our lives.
Presentations - no Powerpoints please
In the UK, we categorise sets of ADHD symptoms in three ways: hyperactive presentation, inattentive presentation and combined presentation.
Hyperactive presentation includes symptoms like:
- Hyperactivity…duh…
- being fidgety,
- talking over people and
- Hyperfocusing
- Little or no sense of danger
Inattentive presentation looks more a Space Cadet who is:
- often in their own world
- struggles with motivation
- easily distracted
- forgetful
- not friends with organisation
Combined presentation merges symptoms of both hyperactive and inattentive presentations in a delightful, conflicting and exhausting mental health Neapolitan.
It often renders a person in a constant state of:
“wha…yes…wait, no…I mean…blue? Maybe Tuesday…? I need to sleep…BUT I’M TOO TIRED TO SLEEP!”
Your boy over here…I’m a Neapolitan. I got diagnosed with ADHD - Combined Presentation at the tender age of 35 and, dude - I grieved. More on that later, but just know, the struggle is real and I see you.
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Hyperactive vs Inattentive in adults
Very broadly speaking we tend to see more hyperactive presentations in kids and more inattentive and combined presentations in adults.
In adulthood, ADHD is often less about hyperactivity and more about finding your keys / TV remote / sunglasses in the fridge next to that pack of grapes you meant to throw away, like 3 weeks ago because you had a surge of energy about eating healthy shit and you just…kinda…forgot.
That being said, it's perfectly feasible, as an adult, that you can talk the hind legs off a donkey and frequently pull all nighters to get a report finished that is due by 9am - even though you’ve known the deadline for the last 3 months.
To me, ADHD is the art of starting 20 tasks simultaneously and wondering why none are finished.
It’s that ever present feeling of unease, shame and isolation that you wish you knew how to explain, but somehow just never find the words.
So basically, I’m fucked?
Well…the good news is…not quite.
While there are some truly awful difficulties that having ADHD brings, you’re not completely fucked.
All that incredible processing that happens in your ADHD brain, at breakneck speed can give you a unique perspective on the world, where your creativity and problem-solving skills can shine.
Have you ever been in the company of people who have been working for days trying to fix a complicated problem and you take one look at it and go “Try this…” AND IT FUCKING WORKS?! Yep, that’s the ADHD problem solving ability at its finest.
A really strange part of the ADHD experience is the sense of calm, focus and peace that a crisis brings us.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should seek out each and every crisis just to feel calm, but think about how you have behaved in crises gone by.
I remember a time when my front doorbell rang and my ex-wife answered the door to our distraught neighbour, who was clutching a blood-soaked tea-towel around her right hand. My ex-wife kind of went to pieces, bless her, but me…suddenly I was able to act from pure consciousness. No thought, just correct helpful actions:
- Put the dog in the living room so he can’t run out and cause more stress
- Grab fresh tea-towel and first-aid kit
- Grab a stool to take outside
- Get our neighbour to sit on the stool and hold her hand above her heart
- Instruct my ex-wife to call 999 and get our neighbour a small glass of water
- Freshen up tea-towel - DO NOT TOUCH BLOOD
- Offer reassurance to our neighbour while looking out for signs of shock
- Take over the 999 call when my ex-wife lost her words
- Instruct my ex-wife calmly and clearly to do things that kept HER occupied while I kept our neighbour calm
- Log all relevant information to relay to the ambulance crew when they arrived
Bish. Bash. and a BOSH!
Our neighbour was forever grateful after that incident - she had cut her hand quite badly and had lasting nerve damage, but she told us she’d never forget our patience and kindness in the face of her crisis. Win.
I’d bet that, in the midst of a crisis, somehow, from somewhere you’ve been able to summon the peace of Buddah and the wisdom of Solomon to pacify, comfort and lead those who are falling apart.
Let me know about your favourite Ohm moment in the comments.
So…I’ve Got Superpowers?
Hold your horses, Iron Man.
The word “superpower” gets bandied around a lot when describing ADHD symptoms, and I’ve found that to be monumentally unhelpful.
There’s a pressure to live up to the idea that we are superhuman in some way.
Spoiler - we can achieve incredible things…but a superpower ADHD is most definitely not. I’m sorry to say that, despite the amazing abilities it can grant us, it is nothing short of a condition that benefits most from proper management and support.
Fortunately, there is plenty of support available and you totally deserve to access it, so you can manage your ADHD and live that life less, less ordinary.
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The Diagnosis Journey: Being Diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult
Embarking on the diagnosis journey in adulthood is akin to deciding to learn to drive in central London during rush hour; it’s daunting, confusing, and you might question your sanity. But, much like finally understanding the roundabout rules, getting that diagnosis can be incredibly liberating.
First off, your GP is your first port of call, not Dr. Google. Despite the temptation to self-diagnose after a late-night internet deep dive, your GP can guide you towards a specialist who truly gets the intricacies of adult ADHD. The process may involve questionnaires that seem to ask if you’ve ever been distracted by a... sorry, lost my train of thought.
Getting diagnosed might feel like you’ve finally found the missing piece of the puzzle – it’s not that you’re failing at adulting; your brain just operates on a different wavelength. And with this understanding comes a tailored approach to managing ADHD, opening doors to treatments and strategies that align with your unique brain wiring.
Coping Mechanisms: Managing ADHD in Adulthood
Now, onto the bread and butter (or should I say, tea and biscuits?) of living with ADHD: coping mechanisms. These aren’t just strategies; they’re your toolkit for turning everyday challenges into something resembling normalcy, or at least a version of it that doesn’t involve forgetting your own birthday.
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Embrace Structure
Your brain might be allergic to boredom, but routines act like an antihistamine to fight this particular allergy. Simple habits, like setting keys in the same spot or using a planner (digital or old school), can prevent everyday tasks from becoming full-blown adventures.
Break It Down
Facing a task as daunting as cleaning the house? Break it into bite-sized pieces. Today, you conquer the dishes. Tomorrow, the world (or maybe just the laundry).
Get your very own ADHD Friendly planner here.
The Power of Timers
Ever decided to check your email for “just a minute” only to emerge hours later, somehow deep into researching the history of the potato? Timers can be a game-changer, reminding you when it’s time to switch tasks or take a break.
Get your own Pomodoro timer here.
Find Your Tribe
Connecting with others who are navigating the same ADHD rollercoaster can be incredibly validating. Whether it’s an online community or a local support group, sharing experiences and tips can make the journey less isolating.
Exercise Your Way
Physical activity is like a natural potion for the ADHD brain, boosting mood and focus. Find something that feels less like a chore and more like fun – be it dancing around the living room or chasing after your kids in the park.
Living with ADHD might mean your life is a bit more colourful and unpredictable than most. But with the right coping strategies, you can learn to ride the waves rather than being swept away by them. Think of it as becoming the captain of your own ship, ADHD flag flying high.
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ADHD Treatment Options for Adults
When it comes to treating ADHD in adults, there's no one-size-fits-all magic pill (despite how much we wish there were). Treatment is more like a bespoke suit, tailored to fit your unique set of challenges and lifestyle. Here’s a rundown of the main contenders:
1. Medication:
Think of ADHD meds as your brain’s personal assistant, helping keep your thoughts in line and actions on track. Stimulants are the most common, but non-stimulant options are the quiet heroes for some. Consulting with a healthcare professional who specialises in ADHD is key to finding the right match.
2. Therapy & Coaching:
Various therapies offer tools and techniques to manage ADHD symptoms. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is like having a mental toolbox that helps you challenge and overcome disruptive thoughts and behaviours. Then there’s coaching, which focuses on setting goals and strategies for everyday challenges, making it the GPS for navigating ADHD life.
Start your coaching journey today by hitting the button below.
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3. Lifestyle Adjustments:
Sometimes, the best medicine isn’t medicine at all. Simple changes in diet, exercise, and sleep can significantly impact ADHD symptoms. It’s like fine-tuning your engine for optimal performance – who knew a good night’s sleep could be so powerful?
4. Mindfulness and Meditation:
Embracing mindfulness is like giving your brain a chill pill, reducing impulsivity and improving focus. Meditation might not stop the whirlwind of thoughts, but it can help you learn not to get swept away by them.
Exploring treatment options is a journey of trial and error, requiring patience and persistence. But finding the right combination can turn the chaos of ADHD into a harmonious symphony (or at least a well-organised jazz ensemble).
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Supporting Adults with ADHD: A Guide for Loved Ones
Living with someone who has ADHD can be like being on a rollercoaster with no seatbelt – thrilling, unpredictable, and occasionally terrifying. But fear not! Here’s how you can buckle up and enjoy the ride together:
- Educate Yourself: Understanding ADHD is the first step to empathy. Realize that it’s not about willpower or motivation; it’s a neurological difference. The more you know, the better you can support them.
- Communication is Key: Open, honest dialogue can prevent misunderstandings and build trust. Use “I” statements to express how their ADHD affects you without placing blame. It’s like navigating a minefield with a map – much less likely to cause explosions.
- Establish Routines Together: Routines can be the glue that holds your lives together. Collaborate on establishing systems that work for both of you, making life more predictable and less chaotic.
- Celebrate Strengths: It’s easy to focus on the challenges of ADHD, but don’t forget to celebrate the positives. Whether it’s their creativity, energy, or unique perspective, highlighting their strengths reinforces their value beyond their ADHD.
- Seek Support: Supporting someone with ADHD can be draining. Finding your own support network, be it friends, family, or support groups, ensures you have a safe space to recharge your batteries.
Remember, being a partner, friend, or family member to someone with ADHD is not about fixing them; it’s about supporting them as they navigate their journey. Together, you can turn the ADHD rollercoaster into an adventure of growth, understanding, and love.
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ADHD and Parenting: Strategies for Success
Parenting is no small feat on its best days, and when you toss ADHD into the mix, it’s like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing instructions - possible, but puzzling. Here are some strategies that might not make the pieces fit perfectly but will certainly help you see the big picture:
- Structure and Routine: Kids thrive on predictability, and, surprisingly, so can adults with ADHD. Establishing a consistent routine helps manage expectations and reduces stress for everyone. It’s about creating a family rhythm that complements, not clashes.
- Open Communication: Be honest with your kids about ADHD in an age-appropriate way. It can demystify your behaviour, like why you might forget things or get easily frustrated. It’s about building understanding and empathy within the family dynamic.
- Quality Time: Find activities that play to your ADHD strengths, like creativity or physical energy. Whether it’s building a fort out of couch cushions or a backyard treasure hunt, these moments create lasting memories and strengthen bonds.
- Self-Compassion: Remember, perfection is an impossible standard for any parent, ADHD or not. Be kind to yourself and recognize that making mistakes is part of the parenting journey. It’s about progress, not perfection.
- Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals. Co-parenting with your partner or ex-partner can also share the load, making the journey more manageable and less isolating.
Parenting with ADHD presents unique challenges, but with the right strategies, it also offers unique opportunities to connect with your children in meaningful, creative ways. It’s about embracing the chaos, one LEGO block at a time.
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Self-Care and Wellness for Adults with ADHD
In the whirlwind of ADHD life, self-care often takes a back seat. But just like you’re advised to put on your oxygen mask before helping others, self-care is not selfish; it’s essential. Here’s how to keep your tank full:
Prioritise Sleep
Sleep is the foundation of ADHD management. It’s like rebooting your brain, reducing symptoms and improving overall function. Establish a calming bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.
Healthy Eating
What you eat affects how you feel. While there’s no specific “ADHD diet,” balanced nutrition can impact energy levels and focus. Think of food as fuel for your brain and body.
Exercise Regularly
Physical activity is a powerful tool for managing ADHD symptoms. It improves mood, focus, and executive function. Find an activity you enjoy, so it feels less like a chore and more like a treat.
Mindfulness Practices
Incorporating mindfulness and meditation can enhance focus, emotional regulation, and stress management. It’s about being present in the moment, one breath at a time.
Time for Fun
Don’t forget to schedule time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s reading, painting, or playing the guitar, these moments of enjoyment are crucial for mental health.
Self-care is not a one-off task but a lifestyle. By integrating these practices into your daily routine, you can navigate the complexities of ADHD with resilience and grace, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
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ADHD Resources and Support in the UK
Embarking on your ADHD journey can feel like setting sail in uncharted waters. Thankfully, the UK is home to a wealth of resources and support networks designed to throw you a lifeline when you need it most. Here's a compass to help you navigate these resources:
NHS Choices: Your starting point for understanding ADHD and exploring treatment options available through the National Health Service. It's like the base camp for your ADHD expedition.
ADHD UK: A charity by and for people affected by ADHD, offering information, support, and a community of fellow adventurers on the ADHD path. It’s your fellowship, ready to accompany you on the journey.
ADDISS (The National Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service): Offers information, resources, and networking opportunities for families, professionals, and adults with ADHD. Think of it as your guidebook, packed with maps and tips.
Adult ADHD Support Groups: Scattered across the UK, these groups provide a safe space to share experiences, strategies, and support. It's your local pub where everyone knows your name and your story.
AADD-UK (Attention Deficit Disorder UK): Focuses specifically on adults with ADHD, providing information, advice, and resources. Consider it your specialised navigator for the adult ADHD journey.
Utilising these resources can make all the difference in managing ADHD symptoms and finding your community. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not a weakness. It’s about building a support network that lifts you up and keeps you sailing smoothly.
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Conclusion
Navigating adulthood with ADHD can feel like trying to assemble a complex puzzle with pieces that don’t always seem to fit. Yet, with the right information, strategies, and support, you can not only complete the puzzle but also admire the unique picture it forms. From understanding symptoms and seeking diagnosis to finding effective treatments and coping strategies, there are numerous steps you can take to manage ADHD and lead a fulfilling life.
For the dads out there, juggling ADHD and parenting, especially in the wake of significant life changes like separation or divorce, presents its own set of challenges and rewards. By embracing structure, fostering open communication, and practicing self-care, you can be the parent you aspire to be, ADHD notwithstanding.
Remember, your ADHD journey is uniquely yours, filled with highs and lows, successes and learning moments. Embrace it with humour, patience, and kindness towards yourself. And never forget, in the rich tapestry of life, ADHD adds vibrant colours and patterns that are entirely your own.
As we wrap up this comprehensive guide, remember that the path to managing ADHD is a journey, not a sprint. With each step, you learn more about yourself and how to navigate the world in a way that works for you. So here’s to you, the adventurers, the trailblazers, and the daydreamers. May your ADHD journey be filled with discovery, growth, and success.
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Discovering ADHD in Adulthood: The Signs and Symptoms
Recognising ADHD in adulthood is a bit like piecing together a puzzle while missing half the pieces – it requires patience and a keen eye for detail. Here are some hallmark signs:
Memory Misadventures
Ever walked into a room and felt like you’ve entered Narnia because you can’t remember why you’re there? That’s your ADHD playing hide and seek.
The Impulse Buy Bonanza
If your online shopping habits reveal a pattern of "I saw, I conquered... I completely forgot why I needed 12 pairs of novelty socks," welcome to impulse buying, ADHD edition.
Focus, What Focus?
Concentrating on a single task can feel like trying to read War and Peace at a rave – challenging, to say the least.
Emotional Rollercoasters
Emotional responses can be intense, like riding the emotional equivalent of the Nemesis without a seatbelt.
The Time Warp:
Understanding time is like trying to grasp water – it just slips through. Deadlines feel either light-years away or like they’re breathing down your neck.
Spotting these signs is the first step towards turning the page and starting a new chapter where ADHD is a part of your story, not the entirety of it.
Remember, recognising you might need a bit of extra help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s the most human thing of all.
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Understanding ADHD in Adulthood
Even if the signs and symptoms of ADHD have obvious effects on us day to day, it can be even more helpful to understand how this affects us more generally.
Disconnect Brain
Dr Hallowell of The Hallowell ADHD Centres explains that having ADHD is like having a brain with a Ferrari engine…but the with steering and the brakes of a pushbike.
For those who are more I.T. minded, I like to think of an ADHD brain having a 128-core, 3.7 Ghz CPU paired with, like, 1GB of RAM.
Whichever way you look at it, people with ADHD have an ability to process huge amounts of stuff, all the time, but struggle with being able to consistently filter or recall that stuff in useful ways.
This disconnect brings about challenges that are both relatable to those without ADHD and unique to those with the disorder.
If you’ve ever tried to explain to someone who doesn’t have ADHD that you instantly forget why you went into a room all the time, the other person might say “Oh yeah, I do that all the time too.”
It can feel super invalidating, even though the other person is most likely trying to relate to you.
Their “all the time” is a figure of speech and often they don’t realise that your “all the time” is far more literal. It’s the difference between doing it a couple of times a day - which is quite normal - and doing it 30 - 40 times a day - which is closer to the ADHD experience.
Challenges that are more unique to ADHD tend to feature in the emotional realm. Things like low self-esteem, depression and anxiety can all be underpinned by ADHD’s insidious ability to sabotage and derail our work, our family plans and our lives.
Presentations - no Powerpoints please
In the UK, we categorise sets of ADHD symptoms in three ways: hyperactive presentation, inattentive presentation and combined presentation.
Hyperactive presentation includes symptoms like:
- Hyperactivity…duh…
- being fidgety,
- talking over people and
- Hyperfocusing
- Little or no sense of danger
Inattentive presentation looks more a Space Cadet who is:
- often in their own world
- struggles with motivation
- easily distracted
- forgetful
- not friends with organisation
Combined presentation merges symptoms of both hyperactive and inattentive presentations in a delightful, conflicting and exhausting mental health Neapolitan.
It often renders a person in a constant state of:
“wha…yes…wait, no…I mean…blue? Maybe Tuesday…? I need to sleep…BUT I’M TOO TIRED TO SLEEP!”
Your boy over here…I’m a Neapolitan. I got diagnosed with ADHD - Combined Presentation at the tender age of 35 and, dude - I grieved. More on that later, but just know, the struggle is real and I see you.
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Hyperactive vs Inattentive in adults
Very broadly speaking we tend to see more hyperactive presentations in kids and more inattentive and combined presentations in adults.
In adulthood, ADHD is often less about hyperactivity and more about finding your keys / TV remote / sunglasses in the fridge next to that pack of grapes you meant to throw away, like 3 weeks ago because you had a surge of energy about eating healthy shit and you just…kinda…forgot.
That being said, it's perfectly feasible, as an adult, that you can talk the hind legs off a donkey and frequently pull all nighters to get a report finished that is due by 9am - even though you’ve known the deadline for the last 3 months.
To me, ADHD is the art of starting 20 tasks simultaneously and wondering why none are finished.
It’s that ever present feeling of unease, shame and isolation that you wish you knew how to explain, but somehow just never find the words.
So basically, I’m fucked?
Well…the good news is…not quite.
While there are some truly awful difficulties that having ADHD brings, you’re not completely fucked.
All that incredible processing that happens in your ADHD brain, at breakneck speed can give you a unique perspective on the world, where your creativity and problem-solving skills can shine.
Have you ever been in the company of people who have been working for days trying to fix a complicated problem and you take one look at it and go “Try this…” AND IT FUCKING WORKS?! Yep, that’s the ADHD problem solving ability at its finest.
A really strange part of the ADHD experience is the sense of calm, focus and peace that a crisis brings us.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should seek out each and every crisis just to feel calm, but think about how you have behaved in crises gone by.
I remember a time when my front doorbell rang and my ex-wife answered the door to our distraught neighbour, who was clutching a blood-soaked tea-towel around her right hand. My ex-wife kind of went to pieces, bless her, but me…suddenly I was able to act from pure consciousness. No thought, just correct helpful actions:
- Put the dog in the living room so he can’t run out and cause more stress
- Grab fresh tea-towel and first-aid kit
- Grab a stool to take outside
- Get our neighbour to sit on the stool and hold her hand above her heart
- Instruct my ex-wife to call 999 and get our neighbour a small glass of water
- Freshen up tea-towel - DO NOT TOUCH BLOOD
- Offer reassurance to our neighbour while looking out for signs of shock
- Take over the 999 call when my ex-wife lost her words
- Instruct my ex-wife calmly and clearly to do things that kept HER occupied while I kept our neighbour calm
- Log all relevant information to relay to the ambulance crew when they arrived
Bish. Bash. and a BOSH!
Our neighbour was forever grateful after that incident - she had cut her hand quite badly and had lasting nerve damage, but she told us she’d never forget our patience and kindness in the face of her crisis. Win.
I’d bet that, in the midst of a crisis, somehow, from somewhere you’ve been able to summon the peace of Buddah and the wisdom of Solomon to pacify, comfort and lead those who are falling apart.
Let me know about your favourite Ohm moment in the comments.
So…I’ve Got Superpowers?
Hold your horses, Iron Man.
The word “superpower” gets bandied around a lot when describing ADHD symptoms, and I’ve found that to be monumentally unhelpful.
There’s a pressure to live up to the idea that we are superhuman in some way.
Spoiler - we can achieve incredible things…but a superpower ADHD is most definitely not. I’m sorry to say that, despite the amazing abilities it can grant us, it is nothing short of a condition that benefits most from proper management and support.
Fortunately, there is plenty of support available and you totally deserve to access it, so you can manage your ADHD and live that life less, less ordinary.
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The Diagnosis Journey: Being Diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult
Embarking on the diagnosis journey in adulthood is akin to deciding to learn to drive in central London during rush hour; it’s daunting, confusing, and you might question your sanity. But, much like finally understanding the roundabout rules, getting that diagnosis can be incredibly liberating.
First off, your GP is your first port of call, not Dr. Google. Despite the temptation to self-diagnose after a late-night internet deep dive, your GP can guide you towards a specialist who truly gets the intricacies of adult ADHD. The process may involve questionnaires that seem to ask if you’ve ever been distracted by a... sorry, lost my train of thought.
Getting diagnosed might feel like you’ve finally found the missing piece of the puzzle – it’s not that you’re failing at adulting; your brain just operates on a different wavelength. And with this understanding comes a tailored approach to managing ADHD, opening doors to treatments and strategies that align with your unique brain wiring.
Coping Mechanisms: Managing ADHD in Adulthood
Now, onto the bread and butter (or should I say, tea and biscuits?) of living with ADHD: coping mechanisms. These aren’t just strategies; they’re your toolkit for turning everyday challenges into something resembling normalcy, or at least a version of it that doesn’t involve forgetting your own birthday.
{{cta}}
Embrace Structure
Your brain might be allergic to boredom, but routines act like an antihistamine to fight this particular allergy. Simple habits, like setting keys in the same spot or using a planner (digital or old school), can prevent everyday tasks from becoming full-blown adventures.
Break It Down
Facing a task as daunting as cleaning the house? Break it into bite-sized pieces. Today, you conquer the dishes. Tomorrow, the world (or maybe just the laundry).
Get your very own ADHD Friendly planner here.
The Power of Timers
Ever decided to check your email for “just a minute” only to emerge hours later, somehow deep into researching the history of the potato? Timers can be a game-changer, reminding you when it’s time to switch tasks or take a break.
Get your own Pomodoro timer here.
Find Your Tribe
Connecting with others who are navigating the same ADHD rollercoaster can be incredibly validating. Whether it’s an online community or a local support group, sharing experiences and tips can make the journey less isolating.
Exercise Your Way
Physical activity is like a natural potion for the ADHD brain, boosting mood and focus. Find something that feels less like a chore and more like fun – be it dancing around the living room or chasing after your kids in the park.
Living with ADHD might mean your life is a bit more colourful and unpredictable than most. But with the right coping strategies, you can learn to ride the waves rather than being swept away by them. Think of it as becoming the captain of your own ship, ADHD flag flying high.
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ADHD Treatment Options for Adults
When it comes to treating ADHD in adults, there's no one-size-fits-all magic pill (despite how much we wish there were). Treatment is more like a bespoke suit, tailored to fit your unique set of challenges and lifestyle. Here’s a rundown of the main contenders:
1. Medication:
Think of ADHD meds as your brain’s personal assistant, helping keep your thoughts in line and actions on track. Stimulants are the most common, but non-stimulant options are the quiet heroes for some. Consulting with a healthcare professional who specialises in ADHD is key to finding the right match.
2. Therapy & Coaching:
Various therapies offer tools and techniques to manage ADHD symptoms. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is like having a mental toolbox that helps you challenge and overcome disruptive thoughts and behaviours. Then there’s coaching, which focuses on setting goals and strategies for everyday challenges, making it the GPS for navigating ADHD life.
Start your coaching journey today by hitting the button below.
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3. Lifestyle Adjustments:
Sometimes, the best medicine isn’t medicine at all. Simple changes in diet, exercise, and sleep can significantly impact ADHD symptoms. It’s like fine-tuning your engine for optimal performance – who knew a good night’s sleep could be so powerful?
4. Mindfulness and Meditation:
Embracing mindfulness is like giving your brain a chill pill, reducing impulsivity and improving focus. Meditation might not stop the whirlwind of thoughts, but it can help you learn not to get swept away by them.
Exploring treatment options is a journey of trial and error, requiring patience and persistence. But finding the right combination can turn the chaos of ADHD into a harmonious symphony (or at least a well-organised jazz ensemble).
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Supporting Adults with ADHD: A Guide for Loved Ones
Living with someone who has ADHD can be like being on a rollercoaster with no seatbelt – thrilling, unpredictable, and occasionally terrifying. But fear not! Here’s how you can buckle up and enjoy the ride together:
- Educate Yourself: Understanding ADHD is the first step to empathy. Realize that it’s not about willpower or motivation; it’s a neurological difference. The more you know, the better you can support them.
- Communication is Key: Open, honest dialogue can prevent misunderstandings and build trust. Use “I” statements to express how their ADHD affects you without placing blame. It’s like navigating a minefield with a map – much less likely to cause explosions.
- Establish Routines Together: Routines can be the glue that holds your lives together. Collaborate on establishing systems that work for both of you, making life more predictable and less chaotic.
- Celebrate Strengths: It’s easy to focus on the challenges of ADHD, but don’t forget to celebrate the positives. Whether it’s their creativity, energy, or unique perspective, highlighting their strengths reinforces their value beyond their ADHD.
- Seek Support: Supporting someone with ADHD can be draining. Finding your own support network, be it friends, family, or support groups, ensures you have a safe space to recharge your batteries.
Remember, being a partner, friend, or family member to someone with ADHD is not about fixing them; it’s about supporting them as they navigate their journey. Together, you can turn the ADHD rollercoaster into an adventure of growth, understanding, and love.
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ADHD and Parenting: Strategies for Success
Parenting is no small feat on its best days, and when you toss ADHD into the mix, it’s like trying to assemble IKEA furniture with missing instructions - possible, but puzzling. Here are some strategies that might not make the pieces fit perfectly but will certainly help you see the big picture:
- Structure and Routine: Kids thrive on predictability, and, surprisingly, so can adults with ADHD. Establishing a consistent routine helps manage expectations and reduces stress for everyone. It’s about creating a family rhythm that complements, not clashes.
- Open Communication: Be honest with your kids about ADHD in an age-appropriate way. It can demystify your behaviour, like why you might forget things or get easily frustrated. It’s about building understanding and empathy within the family dynamic.
- Quality Time: Find activities that play to your ADHD strengths, like creativity or physical energy. Whether it’s building a fort out of couch cushions or a backyard treasure hunt, these moments create lasting memories and strengthen bonds.
- Self-Compassion: Remember, perfection is an impossible standard for any parent, ADHD or not. Be kind to yourself and recognize that making mistakes is part of the parenting journey. It’s about progress, not perfection.
- Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, whether it’s from family, friends, or professionals. Co-parenting with your partner or ex-partner can also share the load, making the journey more manageable and less isolating.
Parenting with ADHD presents unique challenges, but with the right strategies, it also offers unique opportunities to connect with your children in meaningful, creative ways. It’s about embracing the chaos, one LEGO block at a time.
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Self-Care and Wellness for Adults with ADHD
In the whirlwind of ADHD life, self-care often takes a back seat. But just like you’re advised to put on your oxygen mask before helping others, self-care is not selfish; it’s essential. Here’s how to keep your tank full:
Prioritise Sleep
Sleep is the foundation of ADHD management. It’s like rebooting your brain, reducing symptoms and improving overall function. Establish a calming bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.
Healthy Eating
What you eat affects how you feel. While there’s no specific “ADHD diet,” balanced nutrition can impact energy levels and focus. Think of food as fuel for your brain and body.
Exercise Regularly
Physical activity is a powerful tool for managing ADHD symptoms. It improves mood, focus, and executive function. Find an activity you enjoy, so it feels less like a chore and more like a treat.
Mindfulness Practices
Incorporating mindfulness and meditation can enhance focus, emotional regulation, and stress management. It’s about being present in the moment, one breath at a time.
Time for Fun
Don’t forget to schedule time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it’s reading, painting, or playing the guitar, these moments of enjoyment are crucial for mental health.
Self-care is not a one-off task but a lifestyle. By integrating these practices into your daily routine, you can navigate the complexities of ADHD with resilience and grace, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
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ADHD Resources and Support in the UK
Embarking on your ADHD journey can feel like setting sail in uncharted waters. Thankfully, the UK is home to a wealth of resources and support networks designed to throw you a lifeline when you need it most. Here's a compass to help you navigate these resources:
NHS Choices: Your starting point for understanding ADHD and exploring treatment options available through the National Health Service. It's like the base camp for your ADHD expedition.
ADHD UK: A charity by and for people affected by ADHD, offering information, support, and a community of fellow adventurers on the ADHD path. It’s your fellowship, ready to accompany you on the journey.
ADDISS (The National Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service): Offers information, resources, and networking opportunities for families, professionals, and adults with ADHD. Think of it as your guidebook, packed with maps and tips.
Adult ADHD Support Groups: Scattered across the UK, these groups provide a safe space to share experiences, strategies, and support. It's your local pub where everyone knows your name and your story.
AADD-UK (Attention Deficit Disorder UK): Focuses specifically on adults with ADHD, providing information, advice, and resources. Consider it your specialised navigator for the adult ADHD journey.
Utilising these resources can make all the difference in managing ADHD symptoms and finding your community. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not a weakness. It’s about building a support network that lifts you up and keeps you sailing smoothly.
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Conclusion
Navigating adulthood with ADHD can feel like trying to assemble a complex puzzle with pieces that don’t always seem to fit. Yet, with the right information, strategies, and support, you can not only complete the puzzle but also admire the unique picture it forms. From understanding symptoms and seeking diagnosis to finding effective treatments and coping strategies, there are numerous steps you can take to manage ADHD and lead a fulfilling life.
For the dads out there, juggling ADHD and parenting, especially in the wake of significant life changes like separation or divorce, presents its own set of challenges and rewards. By embracing structure, fostering open communication, and practicing self-care, you can be the parent you aspire to be, ADHD notwithstanding.
Remember, your ADHD journey is uniquely yours, filled with highs and lows, successes and learning moments. Embrace it with humour, patience, and kindness towards yourself. And never forget, in the rich tapestry of life, ADHD adds vibrant colours and patterns that are entirely your own.
As we wrap up this comprehensive guide, remember that the path to managing ADHD is a journey, not a sprint. With each step, you learn more about yourself and how to navigate the world in a way that works for you. So here’s to you, the adventurers, the trailblazers, and the daydreamers. May your ADHD journey be filled with discovery, growth, and success.
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